14 Feb My Surrogacy Journey Part 1
Before I talk about our journey, let me first rewind to a few months after Winnie was born.
Brad and I both knew we were done growing our family. A family of 4 just feels like the right number for us, no matter the gender of our children (This actually comes up a lot. More on that later). We talked about it several times and the newborn stage is such a hard one for us emotionally, physically, mentally, and financially (anyone else have an unpaid maternity leave). And, it feels really good to have made the decision to not do that again. I don’t know if I can survive another round of cluster feedings, all-nighters, 6-8 hour crying spells, and being puked on every 5 seconds. Don’t get me wrong, I love my babies and wouldn’t trade the baby snuggles, little coos, and “newborn smell” for anything. But, I’m happy we’re not doing it again.
So I was really caught off guard when I started to get a little sad while sorting through my maternity clothes to donate. I was so confused because I was firm in my decision to have just 2 children. When I confided in Brad, we came to the realization that I just enjoy being pregnant (I know, weird right?). Though, I’m sure every pregnant woman on this planet will tell you that the third trimester really is not the best. After awhile, the interrupted sleep, extreme fatigue, water retention, back aches, and having to pee 5,000 times a day, gets pretty old. But, when I’m pregnant, I just feel good. I can’t really explain why or how I feel exactly, but its a good enough feeling to want to do it again.
Around the time we came to this realization, surrogacy was in the news a lot. Some celebrities had chosen that path to grow their family and it felt like every time I turned on the radio or news there was a story about it. I remember joking with my husband and friends saying that I would totally be Kim Kardashian’s surrogate, partly joking, but also gauging their reactions to the possibility. That’s also when I started doing some research and ultimately decided that I would want to be a gestational carrier, not a true surrogate. A gestational carrier is a woman that carries a baby through IVF using another woman’s eggs and another man’s sperm. A baby carried by a gestational carrier is not related to the carrier in any way.
When I broached the topic with Brad he was a little confused. I think he’s kind of used to my crazy ideas (most supportive hubby ever). I mean, we try to use plants instead of medicine, have crystals tucked in nooks and crannies throughout our house, and go to rooms made of salt to boost our immune systems. But, the idea of me carrying another person’s baby was one that he really had to think about. We talked for days, weeks, and months about this. How it would happen, why I wanted to do it, who we would want to carry for, etc.
After about 5 months of talking and thinking about it, we decided to take the plunge.
We filled out our application in October. Now, we’ve been matched, medically cleared, and we are waiting on our egg donor to produce eggs before the next part of our journey begins.